If music was the food of love, I’d be a fat romantic slob.

A tongue in the cheek view on love and romance from someone with a blogger name containing the word ‘violated’. You can’t write this kind of shit.

So it’s coming up to my weekend off work and I won’t be around to blog at all, and since the inspiration has taken me I thought I’d get it in early. I’ll be heading into London so cockneys lock up anything/one that you don’t want puked on/in. You have been warned.

So let me start off by saying how much of a pessimist I am about the 14th of February, I can’t remember having a great valentines day or even a decent valentine. In the same breath I really don’t hate the event, love or romance. Also this is not a cry for help or an attempt at advice, I am supremely under qualified for that kind of stuff. It’s just a bit of fun and an excuse to blog some music.

I’m here today to give a more realistic view on romance, not the heartbreak and the love stories but real life. Not everyone has that perfect drama thing going on, and some people try to force it. I myself am emotionally retarded after being left in front of too many episodes of ‘Dawson’s creek’ whilst younger.

There is someone for everyone out there, and if your lucky two people. That’s what we call a ‘ménage á trois’. Jokes. You more than likely have to go through a bunch of relationships and deal with a lot of life before you get settled, find someone or learn your lessons before its too late. Or so I’ve been told. List to enough music and you can learn from people mistakes. This song by Frank Turner says it all really; he speaks of girls with the kind of personality’s I meet far too often. They won’t necessarily treat you like they treated Frank but I think most guys can relate.

Frank Turner – Substitute

Enough of the women bashing and on to some real romance, real being the choice word with this one. I love this track, it’s got to be the funniest song of there brilliant first season. The idea is this is how one of the characters thinks settling down with the women he is currently seeing would be like. In a good way.

Flight of the Conchords – Business time (hypem)

This has got FAR too deep for my liking.

Business hours are over

Me and Frank, Frank and Me

When is Frank Turner going to realise his dream and team up with me to make a Christmas song everyone loves? As one of my favourite song writers and a true gent he could at least give it an effort. It beats ‘Rage Against The Machine For Christmas Number One’ any day. What is that crap anyway? I honestly think it would be worse if Rage made Number One. Where’s everyone’s festive cheer gone? Whatever song makes it, makes it for one reason: it is downloaded the most. If you’re going to pay for it, of course you enjoy it. No one is forcing you to buy anything or listen to Radio 1, so stop making a drama out of nothing and put ‘Killing In The Name Of' back on your headphones.

This time around I’m going to have a little chat about a folk/ex-punk artist I love, Frank Turner. I feel he’s been forgotten a little bit with the recent influx of female electro pop folk artists. I feel for you, man. I think of him as a great songwriter, one that we can all honestly relate to. He sings songs about his friends, getting drunk, feeling old, politics, travelling the world and one of life’s great mysteries, women.

He’s one of the hardest working artists in the industry today, having toured for years at time, even attempting to play 24 gigs in 24 hours at one point. He has been a bit of a support and small venue act for most of his career, a regular at Reading and Leeds but recently sold out the Shepherds Bush Empire on the final day of his British tour. Anyone who has been to a Frank Turner gig will understand how much of a friendly vibe the crowd has. He’s now touring the US and Europe before returning to London for a gig on December 19^th and touring again in spring ‘10. Phew, tires me out just writing about it. Take a look for yourself

This is why you shouldn’t steal his music off the internet, download it from iTunes, or better than that buy the CDs and get sing-along booklets, not that you’ll need them. I’ll give you a little preview of some of his best though. Shhhh.

The Ballard of Me and my Friends

The Real Damage

I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous

The Road (Radio 1 Live Lounge)

Here’s to Frank, one of us and a truly great live act.